Shit Happens

I live in downtown Atlanta. Grant Park to be more specific.

When you move into the city like Atlanta, you pay high rent for many things. Like tasty restaurants, dive bars, trendy boutiques, open minded individuals, beautiful parks, independent coffee shops, a stellar music scene and theft and robbery like you wouldn’t believe. Before I even moved downtown my car was broken into twice. In Grant Park alone -- I am aware of one lonely lawn mower stolen from my front yard, 3 cars stolen for mostly parts (but later found), at least 4 or 5 cars being broken into and a very cute scooter taken by children. One friend told me about her sprint down Euclid to catch a bike thief and in East Atlanta a friend was punched in the face when he saw a car being stolen outside of his own house.

I’ve come to terms that once I step outside my door to go to work or brunch or the like, I would experience two different feelings of invasion of privacy. Either my car being stolen or even broken into. I am prepared for this. I might think to myself, ‘Shit, it happened to me’ and then I would proceed to call the cops. It sucks even more these days if it happens since I just bought a new car and I am now proud of this said car.

This morning, I walked outside. Car was there.

Check.

The windows were all windowed.

Check.

As I used my fancy keyless entry I realized that I’ve been pooped on. The birds of Grant Park attacked my car with poop. POOP! If I was driving the good ol’ falling-apart-no-door-handle-Corolla, I would of shrugged off and went on with my day.

Today, I was pissed! My beautiful still smells like new car was pooped on! So, as the FedEx man was dropping off a package to my neighbor I’ve never met, I was using ArmorAll: Car Wipes to wipe off each and every shat. There were at least 6 or 7 spots. In one night. Some were that gross white runny poo and a couple were brownish that looked like chewing tobacco.

So today, January 2nd, was the first time my new car felt violated. With being in the city, I am sure this is the first of many violations. I just didn’t think it would involve me cleaning bird poo in the rain.